but what do americans call biscuits
Wait what are British biscuits? these are american biscuits.
WHAT THE FUCK ARE THEY?!
They are American biscuits.
…That is not a biscuit.
These. These are biscuits.
Those are cookies.
These are cookies:
Everything else is a biscuit.
THOSE AMERICAN BISCUITS ARE SCONES
the number of inches you leave my door open is the number of inches the depth of my knife will be in your chest
I wish that there was a socially acceptable way to say, “I’m having a bad mental health day and need you to pay attention to me,” without alienating everyone.
or: “I’m having a bad mental health day and need to be on my own for a while so please don’t be mad if I cancel our plans on short notice.”
We basically need mental health safe words.
if I was an actor in something popular, I’d go to cons cosplaying that character
except I’d get a really shitty party wig and sew a terrible outfit out of costume satin
and then if I got called out on how terrible my cosplay was
I’d rip off the wig and tearaway cosplay, revealing my real hair and outfit underneath
and be like
“I AM THAT CHARACTER”
I swear, I will do this every single time one of my little brothers graduates from somewhere.
you are my new favorite person
one time I was working at Dolly Parton’s water park as a photographer in the lazy river, and taking pictures and what not and I look up and see this very familiar black man floating in a tube toward me.
and it is Akon. So I’m like ‘hey Akon would you like a picture with your family today?’ He is all like ‘no thank you sweetie’ and I was all “well you have a good day, Akon”
he said you too and floated on.
SO THIS GUY IN MY ENGLISH IS DOING A PROJECT FOR BIO WHERE HE GETS A DUCKLING TO IMPRINT ON HIM SO HE JUST CARRIES IT AROUND WITH HIM TO ALL OF HIS CLASSES AND I SWEAR THIS DUCK IS THE MOST WELL BEHAVED FUCKING POULTRY IVE EVER SEEN IT JUST SITS ON HIS DESK QUIETLY AND SOMETIMES HE PUTS IT IN HIS POCKET AND IT JUST SLEEPS LIKE WOW YOU GO DUCKY
I’M 600% DONE.
OMFG I nearly spit Coke on my students taking a practice test
I’m sorry I have to reblog this simply because there are teachers who are on tumblr, the fandom part of tumblr, during class. You’re f***ing awesome.
MY REAL OTP
I nearly spit Coke on my students
you are my hero, random fandom teacher
macbook pro?? no no i use a macbook bro. *chest bumps everyone in the room*
- Roses: Who is your love interest?
- Lilacs: Do you consider yourself beautiful and innocent?
- Irises: Do you have words worth spreading? Wise words?
- Gladiolus: Are you violent?
- Lilies: Have you lost someone important to you?
- Protea: Are you courageous?
- Peony: Are you lucky?
- Orchid: Are you a charming person?
- Statice: What do you like to remember?
- Sun flower: What brings you happiness?
- Lisianthus: What do you appreciate?
- Sweet pea: Are you delicate or sweet?
- Tulip: Are you elegant or graceful?
- Hydrangea: Have you endured/suffered for beauty?
- Fresia: Who is your best friend?
- Jasmine: How sexual do you think you are?
my apartment could use a floppy disk coffee table.
I feel like this is the worst time for Yahoo to buy Tumblr
most of our fandoms have self destructed and are emotionally unstable like, Hannibal is the only one left
And they’re cannibals
I need a lifesize cut out of Benedict Cumberbatch. It is necessary.
I’m not entirely sure it’s possible to dislike Daft Punk.