adthenewt:

superciliousassbutt:

m-i-s-e-r-e-r-e:

superciliousassbutt:

m-i-s-e-r-e-r-e:

detectiveincamelot:

m-i-s-e-r-e-r-e:

morgrana:

but what do americans call biscuits

Wait what are British biscuits? these are american biscuits.

WHAT THE FUCK ARE THEY?!

They are American biscuits.

…That is not a biscuit.

These. These are biscuits.

Those are cookies.

These are cookies:

Everything else is a biscuit.

THOSE AMERICAN BISCUITS ARE SCONES

40217 Notes / Reblog

the number of inches you leave my door open is the number of inches the depth of my knife will be in your chest

150294 Notes / Reblog

cameronclarke:

jessikarp:

cryptaniac:

bananneli:

I wish that there was a socially acceptable way to say, “I’m having a bad mental health day and need you to pay attention to me,” without alienating everyone.

or: “I’m having a bad mental health day and need to be on my own for a while so please don’t be mad if I cancel our plans on short notice.”

We basically need mental health safe words.

Yeah!

8371 Notes / Reblog

booksandwildthings:

riceballhika:

if I was an actor in something popular, I’d go to cons cosplaying that character

except I’d get a really shitty party wig and sew a terrible outfit out of costume satin

and then if I got called out on how terrible my cosplay was

I’d rip off the wig and tearaway cosplay, revealing my real hair and outfit underneath

and be like

“I AM THAT CHARACTER”

44525 Notes / Reblog

i-am-mishafuckingcollins:

librarian-byday:

I swear, I will do this every single time one of my little brothers graduates from somewhere.

you are my new favorite person

84404 Notes / Reblog

snowmiserr:

one time I was working at Dolly Parton’s water park as a photographer in the lazy river, and taking pictures and what not and I look up and see this very familiar black man floating in a tube toward me.
and it is Akon. So I’m like ‘hey Akon would you like a picture with your family today?’ He is all like ‘no thank you sweetie’ and I was all “well you have a good day, Akon”
he said you too and floated on.

21109 Notes / Reblog

teenytigress:

SO THIS GUY IN MY ENGLISH IS DOING A PROJECT FOR BIO WHERE HE GETS A DUCKLING TO IMPRINT ON HIM SO HE JUST CARRIES IT AROUND WITH HIM TO ALL OF HIS CLASSES AND I SWEAR THIS DUCK IS THE MOST WELL BEHAVED FUCKING POULTRY IVE EVER SEEN IT JUST SITS ON HIS DESK QUIETLY AND SOMETIMES HE PUTS IT IN HIS POCKET AND IT JUST SLEEPS LIKE WOW YOU GO DUCKY

251791 Notes / Reblog

only-slightly-insane:

yourfavoriteantihero:

we-who-swear-in-the-angels-name:

amosanguis:

andrysb24:

spooky-tomanii:

I’M 600% DONE.

OMFG I nearly spit Coke on my students taking a practice test

Forever reblog.

I’m sorry I have to reblog this simply because there are teachers who are on tumblr, the fandom part of tumblr, during class. You’re f***ing awesome.

MY REAL OTP

I nearly spit Coke on my students

you are my hero, random fandom teacher